I don’t care

 

I often see and hear people talking about how they don’t care if others are bullshitting about them. If they really don’t care? Why bother talking about it? Just let it be.

I will call the people who are talking bad - X

The thing that X expects you to do when they say something bad are:-

1. For you to do the same to them – Which you don’t really want to do because it will make you low just like them.

2. Denying it in every possible way – Which to some people it may be the truth since that you are trying your best to say that it’s not true and without proof, there’s nothing much you can do.

3. Say that you don’t care – Of course you will say that! Just to hurt X but in the end it will get back to you because they get to bitch about you and you don’t. It will be very frustrating when that happens.

 

So, how exactly are we suppose to get even with this kind of people? There are some ways to do it. My personal favourite is to keep myself low and not to reveal so much about my life. After all, I am the one living my life.

This is some ways to get rid of X for good. Remember, before you do anything at all, be very sure of the gossip and is it really about you.

1. Confront X in a very friendly manner and act as if you don’t know that X is the one who talks bad about you and ask them, “Hey, I heard some rumours going on about me being ………, I wonder who started it? Do you think I am that kind of person?” Then, wait for their reaction. The look on their face is enough to make you satisfied.

2. Walk up to X with a smile on you face and give X a big thank you. If they ask you for what, just answer, for making me realize that you are not a good friend, for making me realize what other people think about me, for making me realize that things can come from absolutely no where. There are a lot of things to answer X depending on how you feel.

3. IGNORE. Just pay no attention to these people. By doing just that, you already win. Just leave all the people who are trying to bring you down and move ahead.

“ An expert is someone who has succeeded in making decisions and judgements simpler  through knowing what to pay attention to and what to ignore.”

These are all the things that I would do if ever there’s some people who talks bad about me. Although that rarely happen (as far as I’m concern)

Till next time.

Japan's Recent Disaster

As what we all know, Japan had been hit by an earthquake, bigger than any of the earthquakes before (8.9/9.0 magnitude) on 11th March, 2011. The earthquake created tsunami waves of up to 10 meters (33 ft) that struck Japan, with smaller waves in many other countries. As a result of this, many other damage is done to the country. The roads and the buildings, people are left without electricity and water. To add up to their misery, two nuclear power plant in Fukushima.


It's certainly is one disaster after another, while many had been rescued, thousands are dead and  there are still about 10,000 people missing or couldn't be contacted. Sad and shocking. Although other countries experienced smaller waves, there are not much damage done. 


The point that I am trying to make here is, a lot of people is talking about the disaster and I couldn't help but listen and try not to make judgment. There are 2 sides of course, one is the one who said that they deserved it, another is the one who said that we all should pray for them. To me, I am on both sides, some of the people in Japan may deserve it but the rest of them don't.


The people who keep on talking about how terrible it is and how awful they must feel, it's the one that I actually look down on, not the ones who condemned them. I am saying this because just by offering sympathy and condolences from word of mouth and other media alternative doesn't make a difference to them. They are still in a very vulnerable condition. What they need is not sympathy, they need help and I think there must be something that we can do to help. 


Participate in fund raising, be a volunteer, donate, anything as long as there are some things done to help them ease their burden. The loss they incurred are estimated to more than USD100 billion and it will take years to rebuild the country.

Here's a link I found on Google that we can use to donate online. Remember, every penny counts.

DONATE

God Bless Everyone.

Life plans

This year, I am going to turn 23 and yet I am still clueless. What is it that we're suppose to do in this life? I read about people who got married at this age, in fact, my mom was pregnant with me when she's just 21 (I think). I'm not sure if I'm ready to settle down. I wanted to have kids but I don't think I am ready for that kind of responsibility. I just want to still be young and active when my kid is at my age now. 

I don't think that I am even ready to take care of my own life. Maybe it's because of convenience? Maybe I should try and live on my own, support myself in order to grow up. I should stop depending on other people and just try and figure things out myself for a change. 

What is the first step to do? I guess I gave to make this decision myself too because even if someone tells me what to do, in the end, it's my choice to make, it's the road that I take is the thing that will count. 

Sometimes, I just wonder about all the successful people, how on earth did they get there? Maybe it's all about the connections, who you know and who they know. I got my first real job through some connection, got into my practical attachment job with the help of my boss here, so maybe it's easier.

There are people who are lucky enough to have someone who can at least guide them through their life until they are ready to take on it themselves, as for me, I need to draw my own map and I suck at it. 

Test

I am going to sit for my Maths test in 5 and a half hour time and I have to wake up at least an hour earlier. So what am I doing here writing this blog?

I am actually freaked out because this is my first test since 2009 and here I am, not really knowing what to do and just hope that I won’t be panicked because I know I will screw up if i did and I really hope that it wont be like the other day when I screw up my first quiz because I am overly confident that I answered correctly but I missed out a very important point that cost me 46 marks!!!

I am suppose to be sleeping right now but last night I slept at about 3 or 4 in the morning after I finished reading ‘Notting Hell’. Yes, you got the title right, I did not misspell Hill as Hell but it is as what u see.

Then, I woke up at 8.30 in the morning feeling soooo terrible because it’s the time of the month where I raise my red flag again. After about an hour I tried to go back to sleep and when I was dozing off, my phone rang.. and it happened again 20 minutes later. I feel a little pissed but I because of the fact that I am tired, I managed to go back to sleep peacefully until I woke up and realized that it’s already 2.30 PM. Whoops.

And because of that, I can’t sleep now. maybe I will try and read a little bit of Jane Eyre. I know it will make me sleepy. Reading the first few pages of a book always make me feel sleepy before I get to the best part where all the drama begins!!

So now, with no shame at all, knowing that no one is reading my blog, I thank you all for reading.

 

Good Night~

Windows Live Writer

Today, I discovered that I can use this application that I get from Windows update to write my blog. I think it’s sooo cool!! It’s something like the word programme and it’s super easy to use. I am feeling like I’m writing in the boxes of my blog. I can see the layout while I’m writing. This is how it looks like:-

 

Knowing that I have this super cool feature in my laptop now, I might be blogging more but then it’s very hard to find the ideas of what to write. At this very minute I am yawning while typing. I guess it’s because my life is so boring that I have nothing interesting to share with everyone. I don’t even go out karaoke-ing that often anymore because I don’t really feel like it. My level of fitness is really really low and so is my stamina. I can’t really sing high notes or the ones with long breath anymore. It’s exhausting!

My current activities now are just watch movie at home, play some game, go to class 2 hours on Wednesday and 1 hour on Thursday, watch some Korean drama (currently watching Playful Kiss, Witch Yoo Hee, and later on gonna watch Marry Me Mary which is suppose to be super good), and watch Season 3 of 90210. I really want to find and watch the first generation of Beverly Hills, 90210 to see how much they progressed! Waiting for the next episode of Glee which will only be aired on the 3rd of February, and last but not least AMERICAN IDOL SEASON 10!!!

I think I like the new line-up of judges, Steven Tyler, Jennifer Lopez and randy Jackson. They look like they are having so much fun during the audition! I’m looking forward to this year’s Idol and I really hope it’s not gonna disappoint me like the last 2 seasons where I personally think that Adam Lambert and Crystal Bowersox is suppose to win the Idol title.

Now I am going to start playing Dungeons and Dragons. It’s an MMORPG game but I can’t seem to figure out how to properly install it on my computer.

Till next time peeps!

Things.

This week is a busy week. I miss this kind of days where I constantly have something to do but  I think when I am too busy, I'll be missing my "Sleep til noon everyday" time. Looking on the bright side, I'll be living my life healthier.

It's been a few days since I last update my blog, although no one is actually reading it, but I don't care =P

Sofie, a good friend of mine is back in KK for the weekend and we're suppose to go out and have fun!! It''s been so long since the girls go out and enjoy. Like me, I'm always with the guys and they're boring. I miss gossiping. 

Vegetable Soup

Today, in my attempt to lose weight and lead a healthier life, I make myself a vegetable soup. Very fast and simple. Took me just about 15-20 minutes.

The ingredients are:-

A handful of Udang Kering / Dried Shrimps (for the soup base)

1 Stick of Carrot, sliced

2 Tomatoes, Diced

1 Onion, Diced

2 Potatoes, Diced

Ginger, the size of 2 thumbs, sliced

A step towards a better life

Today, I went to Politeknik Kota Kinabalu, to register and take on my last subject - Maths. I'm not suppose to take this subject again because I can do it with my eyes close (literally) but then I fell asleep while studying and didn't wake up in time for the paper. It was  a mistake. I don't see it in a negative way though because I believe there must be a reason why I didn't wake up. Maybe I will get into a serious accident or something. Furthermore, "A mistake isn't a mistake unless it can't put right " - Quoted from The Undomestic Goddess written by Sophie Kinsella.

Well, I am actually still here in Politeknik waiting for the Ketua Jabatan. The day is hot and rainy. I've went to look for the KJ twice before and he's not there, so today I've come -prepared- With a book and my lappie!

The book is a selected edition by Reader's Digest and I've read 2 of them, this is the third one. Four stories in one book and it's a mix of Romance, Thriller, Murder and so on. They're all by famous authors. The one I'm reading now is by Martin O'Brien, Lee Child, Sophie Kinsella and Jeffrey Archer. In fact, I've read The Undomestic Goddess twice already. Two thumbs up for that book!

Reader's Digest Selected Edition.

Well, no exercise for me today, but I climb a three-storey building twice and walked to the car park twice so that's enough exercise today, plus my muscles especially in the calves area hurt! I've waited for  40 minutes and When the KJ is finally in his office, the PA just do his own thing and I waited for another 5 minutes before I go to her and ask can I go in now?? She is very incompetent. This is the first I met Mr. KJ and he's a very nice person and easy to talk with! Today was a relieve but then tomorrow I must go and finish up everything because by the time I'm done registering, it took me almost 3 hours and it's after office hours. 

The only thing I dislike about today is the fact that I have to remove my nail polish because of the rules. But then, I wouldn't want to go and meet important people with blue nails right? 

The actual beginning of 2011

Since that I have decided to do something this year, I must be content and do it. Yesterday, the only thing I did was update this blog, games on facebook, and watch 3 movies! I can't do that for the rest of the year.

So, today, I decided to go out for a walk, and a little jog. I was suppose to do it this morning but I can hardly open my eyes. Slept for 10 hours straight and the rest of the day I do nothing.

This year, I must lose at least 5 kg. I have 12 months to do that, so, I only need to lose approx. 0.4 kg per month. What's so hard about that?

I currently weight 55kg. Which is overweight according to the BMI index. Any advice on losing the fats?

------------------------------< Off To Jog >--------------------------

Since that it's raining and I am feeling too lazy and dangerous to get out of the house, I decided to just do a FAT BURNING BELLY DANCE routine I found on Youtube. It's between 30-40 minutes I'm not so sure because I never reach the end of it. There's four parts of it and I only manage up to half of the second part. FOR NOW. Here's the video:-

While I'm warming up, I started to sweat. That was at the first 8 minutes of the video. Tomorrow, I promise myself that I will do up to part 3!

------------------------------< Later On >---------------------------

I am going to pamper myself by taking a long bath and play with my nails with my 3 new nail colours, 2 from The Face Shop in Blue (BL606) and Purple (PP409), and another one is a gift I get from Christmas gift exchange in the office, Wine Red from Skin Food, I don't know what the code is.

I will put on some pictures later on because I don;t have a decent camera here with me.

Hello 2011!!

Hey peeps!!! Happy New Year!!!

Today is a historical day!!! 1/1/11. Which comes in every centennial. I have to Google to look for that word. Something that happens every 100 years.

I bid goodbye to 2010 with a lot of joy because in that particular year, I've achieved nothing. NOTHING!!! I'm sure it's all because of me and there's nothing I can do about it now. Only now I have come to realize that I could have done more if I just try and put myself more out there.

So, this year, I will be pursuing my degree in September and I am going to give my best. I've learned my lesson and I know that no one will help you to progress. If you want something to happen, MAKE IT HAPPEN! Friends and family may guide you but that's all they can do. Talk and support. Now, here I am with high spirit wanting to make the best out of 2011!

First off, I have been working in the same place for the past 4 and a quarter year, and all the time I am there, not moving forward or gain anything more than what I need know. I can do better. I know that. I just don't want to do it before because I am very comfortable in where I stand. It's okay for now but not for the rest of my life. I made a decision to at least try and get more experience in working with the Press and it could come in handy later on. Be prepared to read news written by me, PHEADRA M. CHIN in the newspaper somewhere next month.

I have 8 months to try and get the knowledge and my colleagues are very supportive. I am really grateful to them! While I'm at it, I will be doing some other things, like saving some money. I only manage to keep RM50 in the bank without touching it in 2010.

So, get ready to get more from me this year and I will definitely write down about my journalism experience!

What I think of myself

As a person, I think that I am just a very simple person, doesn't talk too much (I used to), sometimes insecure but I don't really give a damn about what other people think of me. A very clever and bright girl but I just need to really build my road to success because I am very lazy. I need a lot of motivation and I love all the suspense and drama in my life. I am very fussy and particular. It's like if I called someone and ask "where are you?" don't just tell me that you're on the way, tell me exactly where so I can estimate the time and I know if you're lying when you finally reach the meeting point. I love cleanliness but I love to laze around more.

I care a lot about my friends and family.. I sometimes even scared to let my mom drive alone just in case something happen to her. Now I leave it all up to fate. Whatever happens, just let it be. Sometimes I think that I don't have any feelings. I think that my presence doesn't make any difference in anyone's life.

I like to help people a lot. It's very hard for me to say no. Now I am learning to do that. I don't really like to go out that much. I just love to go out and relax with my friends. I am quite a shy person and I won't talk to you if I think you don't know me, or I don't know you that well.

(I am having a major headache right now. I lose my appetite and I don't know why. So, I only ate little bit of cake and few other stuff and that's all.)

Tendency to be lazy

I am not sure about anyone else, as for me, I have this habit where I sometimes am very lazy to do anything at all. When I do, I will just sleep in the whole day because I think that living in this world is so tiring. Being yourself is tiring, doing things you’re suppose to is tiring and even to get up to get a glass of water is tiring. I love to sleep and dream where it’s very easy to forget about the reality for a while. Dreamland is wonderful. You can do just about anything and don’t have any mutual feelings and it actually makes me happy.

Putting off the work that you’re supposed to do is not a good thing. I had a hard time doing my assignments and day by day, it get more and more and I don’t know when will I have the urge to do it as I need to do it in order to get good grades in school. Well, I have to admit that I am quite a bright student in class. I can understand a lot of things in one simple explanation compared to some others but still, this habit is killing me.

I guess it’s just because I am tired every single day. Working and studying at the same time is not an easy job, I am wondering how can I cope with it myself and of course, look at where it leads me to – BECOMING A BIG FAT LAZY ASS. I sure do learn my lessons and I will not repeat it again in my degree years. Goodbye self earn money ($$$).

Having my own money to spend is a very good thing. I can have anything that I want (affordable of course) and can actually brag about it. The adrenaline rush that runs in my veins on payday is very ... I don’t even know how to describe it and then of course, it will bring me to complete happiness as I will do what most girls will do – SHOPPING!!!!

Anyways, those are couple of things that I have to bid goodbye to in order to get a better life, better pay and better shopping experience. :D

I am already out of topic so, that just a thought before I go to bed. Good night.

A note of apology

Dearest people,

I am very sorry for not updating my blog, (as if i have lots of followers) but I do know that I have some friends who really care about the things that am, or have been going through.

Busy as it seems, I really think that blogging is the best way to release the stress. Inspiration comes to me best during the times of depression. It always seems like everyone is happy but we'll never know what is in their mind, I will not tell people what's in my mind. I might say it out loud but in a different way. It will always be a metaphor, something people will have to think for themselves.

I am going on to another topic now, stop right now. :D

love all.

For the Love of Book

I received a gift the other day, from a very dear friend of mine.

'The Twilight Saga'

Which I've been dying to read because people says that it's good.
Let me make my own judgement!
I've finished reading the book and I've watch the movie. (I'm not going to comment on the movie....Yet)

Stephenie Meyer is the author. She did a very good job!!! Her power lies in the way she describe the scene in the book. You can almost feel like you are in the book itself, You can imagine how the character is suppose to be,.. Best of all, while you're reading, you can see the character and the scene in your mind as you read. (At least for me)!! Enough credit for the Author.

Now, the books. There are 4 books in the Twilight Saga.

1. Twilight
2. New Moon
3. Eclipse
4. Breaking Dawn

My favourite is Twilight and Breaking Dawn. New Moon is a bit too boring for me,.. Some part of it. (That is when Edward is not there. Sorry for telling this). But, when I get to the next book, I finally get the point of everything. The story line.... When you read New Moon, you must read Eclipse as well!

The books are good; descriptive; breath catching; sweet; what else can I say?

I can't think anymore. I need more caffeine in me and I'm hungry!!

I'll write my review on each book later on. Or maybe I should make a new blog for book review! I'm getting better at this!

These are the cover of each book.

Twilight New Moon

Eclipse Breaking Dawn

Decision, mistakes & regrets or Happily ever after

Have you ever thought of wanting to do some things but you are just too scared and you're not going to take the risk? Well, I am always in that situation. Used to be in that situation!! Now, I'm beginning to see life differently, Life is what you make it!

Making decisions is the hardest thing that can be in our life, worst than a broken heart, they can mend, but wrong decisions will stay there forever and ever for the rest of your life. Sounds bad? There's a catch. Like what I said, life is what we make it, decisions is only a way to live our life. Wrong decisions? That's what we have to face as the consequences.

The thing about making decision is to know what's best for you. You'll never know unless you try it. There might be something special waiting for you in the decision that you make. I always believe that behind something, there's always something else. So, if I make the wrong decision, it's not wrong, it's just not right for you and then from there, move on, choose another path to walk on. There's one special path for you.

When you feel like you've totally screw up in life, DON'T! It's just a feeling that we feel when some things in your life is a mess. Look on the bright side, start anew. There's more to life ahead of us. Eventually, you'll find the right one for you, be it in life or love. You can only find them if you keep on searching, keep on making decision. When it don't feel right, try and find the cause of the feeling. If you still feel the same, QUIT! Try something else, what is there to lose? Your current life that gives you a major headache!! You might think that you can fix it, but think of how many times have you tried before? Why not hit a new road, and drive ahead. I believe that there's always a U-Turn if it really is for you. I believe in fate and destiny.

Everyone in the world is created for something. That is what we need to figure out. Why do I even exist? A question that most of us, or maybe all of us had ever think of. That is to make decisions and have no regrets. Life is what we make it. If we fail our exam, it's because we didn't work on it, if we are broke in the middle of the month, its because we didn't budget our spending, if we are tired, its because we didn't get enough rest.

Of course, what we do is just plan, GOD is the one who decides on everything. So, in everything we do, remember to Pray to God and hope for the best.

To be continued, I'm too sleepy to think now.

Lots of Love,

Life

Today I'm having a major headache and heavy period. I'm feeling so sick and I want to go home but i don't have the car with me. My stomach ache too.

Life is crazy a friend of mine told me. I think it's true. Life is crazy.. It's just a matter of time before we realize it. As for me, turning twenty this year, my life and my way of thinking changes drastically. I don't know where to start.

I used to be the kind of girl who just go with the flow and whatever comes, comes. I don't have a major problem to deal with and I'm happy with that. In fact, I am happy with everything I have now! I just live my life normally without any challenges.

I realize that I used to spend my weekends doing the same thing. I don't go out and enjoy myself much. I don't spend time for my friends and family as well. I seriously think that I am missing a lot on life and what the world have to offer!

Now, I'm beginning to think differently. Lets hear the new me..

It begins with this thought 'What If?'. I don't want to wake up 10 to 20 years from now thinking, 'What if I took that step before?'. I just realize that I can do everything on my own. So, my first step is to go and travel! With a friend of course. I wanted to go somewhere far. A foreign country, not Asia because Asians looks like me! I am certain that there's some things that I will not regret and I am trying to develop this thought where I will never regret any decision I make and if ever something bad happens along the way, I will just try and do something new! How hard can that be?

I thank you God for giving me wonderful friends by my side who supports me in whatever I do. What's more, they're giving me the courage to move on with my BORING life. I ask some of my friends for opinion. I am afraid that the decision I make will affect the rest of my life. On second thought, whatever decision I make will had an impact on my life..

Hanging out with my old friends reminds me of the old me! And I'm loving it. I almost forgot how I used to love myself and my self confidence. I'm really missing out a lot. To all my friends, thank you for your support and thank you for reminding me of what I used to be. I am going to prepare myself to the beginning of my new era! I love all of you friends. MuaaHH.....

The girl inside

Everyone tells me that I'm not in fashion
I don't look like the girls the magazines
They may be hidden
But I've got my passions
I just don't parade around like some home-coming queen
Take a look, here I am. Can't you see
One simple smile from you
Could set me free
So if you take a look
let your heart be your guide
I'll show you love if you take a look
at the girl inside

Dream of me

Let me sleep
For when I sleep
I dream that you are here
You’re mine
And all my fears are left behind
I float on air
The nightingale sings gentle lullaby
So let me close my eyes

And sleep
Per chance to dream
So I can see the face I long to touch
To kiss
But only dreams can bring me this
So let the moon
Shine softly on the boy I long to see
And maybe when he dreams
He’ll dream of me

I’ll hide beneath the clouds
And whisper to the evening stars
They tell me love is just a dream away
Dream away
I’ll dream away

So let the moon
Shine softly on the boy I long to see
And maybe when he dreams
He’ll dream of me

Craps

I have a lot to write but too little time. I often wonder why do we always have a lot of things to do when the time is limited and nothing when we have all the time in the world. Weird as it sounds, it happens to me. For example, I am SOOO in the mood to write the things that's been going on in my head but I only have 20 minutes left. Why not just now? When I am so bored with nothing to do? I wish I know. Now as I sit here and write this, I was actually thinking of a lot of things. I am thinking of what to do later, thinking of when can I talk to him, when will I get home later after work. Oh, talk about work. I love my job. I love all of my colleagues and my boss too. They rock! I am always happy being in the office. Even when there's someone who will say "I try to stand it but now I really can't, I cannot take it anymore! Please lower down your volume when you talk" I mean, what the heck? We are just trying to make a little conversation here. I know your life is like in a living hell but why must you involve others too? I actually don't feel anything. I do try to keep it down, I even whisper when I talk. What's the point actually? I just don't get him.How I wish I can get a superpower where I can read people's mind and try to read his. Anyways, when my inspiration comes, I will be back and write something. :)

Good Night Love

Seeing you sleep, Makes my heart skipped a beat

With pure innocence painted on your face, I can't seem to take off my gaze

Will I see you like this in the morning? Or will you change when the sun is shining?

A pretty smile carved on my lips, Hoping to feel you on my fingertips..

So peaceful as I can see, I wish that you will always be.

Hope you dream of something nice, Hope you think of me inside

I pray for an angel to be sent from up above, To protect you in your sleep my love,

Good night and sweet dream

Hope you dream of happy things

:)